“Rachel, I love you. You’re so beautiful.” These were words regularly spoken by Brother Crawford to his one-flesh wife and were among some of the final words spoken by him to her shortly before going on to be with the LORD.
God made wives to be an help meet for their husbands and for husbands to cleave unto their wives
After more than half a century of marriage, this one-flesh team gave, for those who knew them, a picture of Christ’s relationship to the church. It was exhibited in their home filled with love and service to one another and for those of us privileged to visit; it was taught from the pulpit by Pastor Crawford. The Crawford’s were a living example of Biblical love in action as they ministered to the many people who crossed their paths. When you were in the presence of this one-flesh team, there was never any question that the LORD was first in their lives followed by an uncompromising love which Robert and Rachel shared with one another. As Pastor Crawford wrote: “How we have served the LORD together as a team and stayed together is based upon a real faith in the LORD Jesus Christ and His marvelous grace.”
TRANSFERRING THE PAGES OF GOD’S WORD INTO OUR LIVES
Transferring the pages of God’s Word from the Bible into our lives is difficult for many. We often complicate the simplicity of the gospel with dictionary definitions, a perusal of the Hebrew and Greek, and research into what man has written rather than focusing on the Scriptures.
“But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.” (II Corinthians 11:3) “… hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?” (I Corinthians 1:20) Perhaps, it is this simplicity that gets many off track from focusing on the Word (the Bible) for principles that should be applied in our daily lives and especially the relationship God has outlinedd between husbands and wives.
GOD’S PRINCIPLES ARE WHAT BUILD STRONG FAMILIES
There is rampant crime and a wave of destruction resulting from the breakup of families worldwide. This stems from two basic areas in which most of us have lacked either biblical instruction and/or knowledge or wisdom in the application of godly principles. This includes (1) the relationship God has designed between a one-flesh husband and wife and (2) His guidelines for the rearing of children. In our teachings and counsel here at Restoration Of The Family, we share with our readers principles from God’s Word dealing with topics which are often taken out of context, or many times not even considered by husbands and wives and the extension of these into the lives of their children. God established, from the beginning, that Adam needed an help meet–ONE person to aid him, help him, protect him; and that person would be his wife–until death would part them.
THERE’S SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL GOD HAS DESIGNED FOR AN HELP MEET FOR MAN
There is a very important, perhaps hidden meaning, missed by many husbands and wives in the title given by God to wives. The same word used for help (in help meet) is that used repeatedly to describe God’s help for others. Study the uses of the word help in the Scriptures in the next column.
And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: … because they trust in him.” “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” “Fear not … I will help thee, saith the LORD …” (Psalm 37:40, 46:1; Isaiah 41:10,14)
The same underlying Hebrew word for the English word help in each of the Scriptures above is the same word used twice in Genesis for God’s help meet for man (Adam).
Genesis 2:18-20: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him … And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.”
We’re not saying that a spouse replaces God, BUT study carefully:
1. How a wife can and should help her husband.
2. The husband’s need for wisdom in receiving and finding help from his wife.
Again, the principles are simple, but are we willing to contextually apply biblical principles/teachings to our lives? When we understand the contextual definition of help, as it applies to a husband AND his help meet, we have a different picture not only of the privilege it is for a wife to serve her husband, but for the husband to humble himself to depend upon his wife to help him.
This is because GOD has made the two one! The other side of this miraculous provision is the husband’s responsibility to nurture and care lovingly for his wife–and for both to desire to spend time with one another: to serve one another with the same type of love Jesus applied for us to model here on this earth (charity). It’s so simple. The guidelines are clear. By following such insight …
- Couples do not get entangled in the web of an oppressive boss/slave relationship between them.
- Priorities for career and personal interests do not rise to the surface above the need to serve one another in the love expressed in I Corinthians 13.
- It is taught as charitable giving – that which you give away and expect nothing in return, versus giving and then expecting returns from the “donee”!
HUSBANDS AND WIVES ARE TO SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF GOD
Likewise when husbands and wives first make the decision to submit one to another in the fear of God, their rudder is set to be, in the flesh, the picture that Christ expects of those who partake in His holy institution, marriage. It won’t be marred by disrespect, unkind words, or selfish actions. This is an outgrowth of knowing God who is love. His attributes are described through the word charity:
- charity suffereth long
- is kind
- envieth not
- vaunteth not itself
- is not puffed up
- does not behave itself unseemly
- seekers not her own
- is not easily provoked
- thinkers no evil
- rejoiceth not in iniquity, but in truth
- beareth all things
- believeth all things
- hopers all things
- endureth all thing
Charity NEVER fails because it is Who God is! (I Corinthians 13:4-8)
JOB, AN OLD TESTAMENT HUSBAND AND FATHER, UNDERSTOOD GOD’S ORDER FOR HUSBANDS AND WIVES
Husbands and wives who follow the many principles included in charity will maintain the kind of relationship God intends for husbands and wives. One of the major areas that destroy relationships between husbands and wives is that one or both THINK someone outside the marriage looks more attractive, is wiser than the other spouse, or some other wrongful thoughts about a third party.
Job is someone who knew God. Never was there a question of Job’s loyalty to his wife: “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?” (Job 31:1) In fact, so serious was Job about even entertaining the thought about wrongfully looking at another woman with lust, that he asked God to severely punish him, to take of his possessions, etc. He said of adultery:
“For this is an heinous crime; yea, it is an iniquity to be punished by the judges. For it is a fire that consumeth to destruction, and would root out all mine increase.” (Job 31:11-12)
GOD’S STANDARDS HAVE NOT CHANGED. THEY WERE THE SAME FOR JOB AND FOR THE CRAWFORDS
To love, and to cherish a spouse until death parts the two is sadly becoming a rarity. Pastor Crawford and Rachael’s marriage relationship was one built upon Biblical principles. From the wedding altar until those last deathbed words of Brother Crawford to his wife, we can understand the benefits of God’s rewards for faithfulness to His Word: “Rachael, I love you. You’re so beautiful.”
