Do we have soul mates?
This may be a puzzling question to some (Do we have soul mates?). The reason for this article and its title is that so many people, both unsaved and saved, state that they have a soul mate. The context of those statements is often related to sexual intimacy which they incorrectly feel has made them soul mates with someone with whom they have had sexual intimacy. However, even if that were true, which it is not, a person should not want his soul to be joined to another. Consider, for example, if the person to whom you feel you were a soul mate were not saved and died, your soul would also be committed to everlasting torment because of your souls being joined:
“… to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.” Mark 9:43-44 (Study the context Mark 9:19-24.)
All people, whether they are saved or lost, will exist eternally—either in heaven or hell—not as soul mates, but individually. When we die physically, our body returns to the dust from which it was made, but our soul and spirit exist forever: “Behold, all souls are mine … as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine [God’s]: the soul that sinneth, it shall die.” Ezekiel 18:4 Study carefully the entire 18th Chapter of Ezekiel.
Soul mate is not in the Bible
Search the Scriptures. You will not find the words soul mate in God’s Word. It is in the literature of other religions and secular teachings that you will find the term soul mate. God, however, has no such reference.
Sexual intimacy has nothing to do with making us one flesh.
Sexual intimacy belongs only within the confines of a one-flesh marriage.
God categorizes relationships as righteous or unrighteous. He sanctions sexual intimacy but only as a privilege of His covenant of a one-flesh marriage. However, even within a one-flesh marriage, He never teaches that our souls are joined one to another. In marriage, we are mysteriously, supernaturally, invisibly, permanently joined (made ONE FLESH) by God until death parts us. It is then, and only then (physical death), that the marriage is dissolved; that is, it no longer exists. There are no marriages in heaven.
“For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.” Mark 12:25 (Study the context in Mark 12:19-24 as well as Matthew 22:30 and Luke 20:35.)
BEWARE. We don’t become angels. Grandma is not an angel in Heaven and neither will we become an angel! The Scripture is giving an analogy, through a figure of speech, “as are the angels” used to compare a characteristic of angels to us who are humans after we physically die. Angels neither marry, nor are given in marriage, and neither do we when we pass from this earth and, at some point, take on what is called a glorified body. See 1 Thessalonians 4:16; 2 John 3:2, and 2 Corinthians 5:3.
Again, it must be emphasized that sexual intimacy has nothing to do with making two one flesh; neither does it join their spirits or souls with that of their spouse. Sexual intimacy is a privilege only given by God and only to be enjoyed within a covenant marriage. It doesn’t marry or “unmarry” anyone; it doesn’t join two people. If newlyweds never had sexual intimacy, they would still be one flesh. Outside a covenant marriage, sexual intimacy is an abhorrent sin: fornication or adultery; or in some instances, sodomy. Such actions, not repented of, close the door to eternal life with the LORD. (Study 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19.)
Two people are made ONE FLESH only by the hand of God; not by any act of man.
“And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, [not man, not intimacy] let not man put asunder.” Mark 10:8-9
The LORD supernaturally, invisibly makes a male and female one flesh—not one spirit; not one soul—when they, of their own free will, enter into what is Biblically called a marriage. With their vows, they should understand that they are expected, by God:
- to be faithful to a person of the opposite sex for the remainder of their physical lives;
- to love and cherish each other;
- to live together as husband and wife. Study Ephesians 5:21-33.
Typically said near the end of a marriage ceremony over which clergy presides (It’s not he but God who makes the two one flesh.) is a statement:
“Look graciously upon them, that they may love, honor, and cherish each other, and so live together in faithfulness and patience, and wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of blessing and a place of peace: through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.” (See “With This Ring I thee Wed” in our Materials section.)
God, through His spiritual, covenant-making miracle, creates a one-flesh union, “no more twain [two]” when a male and female, having no other living one-flesh spouse, agree to be so joined. They are, from that point on, until physical death of the husband or wife, joined. However, this joining by God:
- does not join their souls or spirits;
- nor is the act of sexual intimacy a joining of souls or spirits.
“For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law [of marriage: God’s joining] to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.” Romans 7:2
David and Jonathan were very close friends, not soul mates.
Beware of taking out of context the beautiful friendship of David and Jonathan. Study carefully the language and customs of that time and day as well as the comparative literary grammatical device called a simile: “… Jonathan loved him [David] AS his own soul.” 1 Samuel 18:1 This comparative figure of speech (as his own soul) is to help the reader understand that this was not a casual relationship but a fidelity which ran so deeply that Jonathan would jeopardize his relationship with his father, King Saul, to protect his friend David.
Through the marital covenant, the two so joined by God are to develop into an even closer and more beautiful, closely knit picture of unity and power though a unique love. This love is to mirror the one and only love relationship that the LORD says is to reflect Christ’s sacrificial love for the church—one that is free of spot or wrinkle, unselfish, and is holy and without blemish. (See Ephesians 5:27.) This is the potential power that is released when God makes the two one flesh.
Many reading this may say, “That’s surely not a picture of my spouse and me.” That may be true, but the flaw is not in God’s covenant that made the two of you one flesh but in something that has taken place in your body, soul, and/or spirit, or that of your spouse, that has gone awry. When some THING or some PERSON becomes more important than your spouse (other than a personal relationship with God), beware sin lieth at the door! (Review Genesis 4:7.)
Sadly, even clergy sometimes get their ministry out of order and neglect their wife and family. There is a difference between a personal relationship with the LORD and a specific calling to serve the LORD.
We are three-part persons.
There is a definitive difference among the body, the soul, and the spirit and also between the soul and spirit. The Word tells us that not only are we three-part persons, but we are individually held responsible for holiness within each part of our three parts:
“And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23
“For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit …” Hebrews 4:12
The soul and the spirit are interconnected, not to another person, but within a person. The two, the soul and spirit, very much interact; yet, they are separate. The soul and spirit are intangible, but collectively they are who we are. The soul (the mind, will, and emotions) drives how we think and act in our body and opens or closes our relationship with the LORD.
The spirit is the aspect of humanity that connects with God. It’s that, if alive, which gives us the ability to have an intimate relationship with God and to receive guidance and spiritual understanding from Him (through the Holy Spirit of God); or, if we have a DEAD spirit, this spirit of the “natural man” rejects God and His commandments.
“But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” 1 Corinthians 2:14
We choose to “feed” our soul (our mind, will, and emotions) with either things of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, or with the Word of God; and thus, through the latter (what is recorded in the Bible) direct the body which to follow. One or the other will win out and determine whether the spirit is alive or dead. The soul influences what the body will do and where it will go.
We either live in the flesh, the natural man with his dead spirit, or in the Spirit made alive by the Spirit of God. The Spirit of God is made alive within us; yet, we are not a spirit. We live in a body into which God has breathed life: made us a living soul. Or, expressed another way, we are a soul that lives in a body with either a living or dead spirit. God’s breath makes us a living soul. Our soul and spirit are invisible; however, what is manifest in our body reflects the state of our soul and spirit.
“And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” Genesis 2:7
“It is the spirit [of God] that quickeneth [makes us spiritually alive] …” John 6:63
“… the body without the spirit [of God] is dead.” James 2:26
“Who [Jesus] shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body …” Philippians 3:21
“God is a Spirit …” John 4:24
“And you hath he quickened [given spiritual life when saved], who were dead in trespasses and sins.” Ephesians 2:1
Those who reject the LORD are headed for a horrific eternal existence: “… to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. Mark 9:43-44
For as the body without the spirit [of God: Holy Spirit] is dead … James 2:26
Why Evil Exists
Evil exists in our world because man rejects God’s way of living; filling his soul with unscriptural thoughts, actions, and influences.
The spirit and soul are invisible but define who we are and what we allow to be reflected through our body.
“But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” 1 Corinthians 2:14
When a man lets himself be influenced by ungodly thoughts, actions, and stimuli, he will be directed to sin, just as did Adam and Eve.
“For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit [of God] shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” Galatians 6:8
“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other …” Galatians 5:16-17 See our presentation The Fruit of the Spirit.
This use of flesh above contextually is the physical flesh and not the flesh that God makes one with our spouse. The flesh that God CREATES, invisibly, supernaturally (His joining us in marriage) is undefiled (unchanged) by sin. However, those who sin against God’s union, the marriage covenant (bed), will be judged: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers [male prostitutes] and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4
Neither does our state of salvation affect whether or not we are made one flesh by God, unless of course, we try to join ourselves to someone who has a living one-flesh spouse.
Evil exists in our world because rebellious man rejects God’s way of living; i.e., he does not “retain God in his knowledge.” This is because his spirit is dead.
“And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient [unrighteous, vile: sins in which man persists].” Romans 1:28
Study the list of those whom God says have reprobate minds in Romans 1:29-32.
29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Our soul shapes our reasoning, our thinking—our conscience.
When our spirit is made alive by a relationship with Jesus Christ, we are enabled to communicate and relate to the LORD with a soul shaped by the influence of the Holy Spirit and thus are enabled “… to live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world.” Titus 2:12 It is also from the Spirit (of God) that we receive our immortal bodies (in God’s timing) which enable us to live eternally with the Lord.
Our earthly bodies differ from our heavenly bodies. The former experience pain, sickness, and sadness. Heavenly glorified bodies are spiritual and will experience none of the latter.
“And as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly. Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption.” 1 Corinthians 15:49-50 “For this corruptible [body] must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.” 1 Corinthians 15:53
Part of God’s judgment for those who reject Him, while they are alive on this earth, is that He turns them over to permit them to live in the sinful, rebellious lifestyle from which they refuse to repent (turn from and turn to God by following His commandments). “… God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.” Romans 1:28
Study the Scripture passage below that often creates confusion because words are taken our of context.
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot?* God forbid. 16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body [Body and flesh are often used interchangeably.]? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:15-17 *This is a rhetorical question to which the answer should be obvious. A rationally thinking Christian would not purposely make such a decision as to join himself in marriage to a harlot. Thus the answer: “God forbid”!
God is giving a clear warning to avoid potential sin: “God forbid.”
Carefully contextually study the Biblical meaning of joined.
What is the character of a harlot? He or she assuredly is not a godly person with whom a Christian should develop an intimate relationship. A harlot will likely pull the godly person into challenges that are not pleasing to the LORD and may lead him to reject the LORD.
The word joined in Verse 16 is a key verb that must be correctly interpreted. As a student of the Word, Christians should know that contextually this doesn’t mean sexual sin. It, instead, represents God’s marital covenantal act of making two one flesh. The word joined is contextually defined when the next clause is studied: “for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.” Such a joining with a harlot is an unwise choice, but it is not an ungodly joining. That is, if someone marries a lost person and/or one who is promiscuous, that joining by God is not an ungodly act by God. It, however, is an unwise decision (God forbid!) by a Christian to ask the LORD to join him to an unsaved person. The marriage of both unsaved spouses and those who are believers are equally valid and binding until physical death parts the husband and wife.
First Corinthians 6:17, however, gives a CONTRASTING relationship: “But he that is joined unto the Lord (born again) is one spirit [with God].” 1 Corinthians 6:17 The word joined in Verse 17, contextually, is NOT the same kind of joining as when the LORD makes a husband and wife one flesh.
We are engaged, not married, to the LORD. The Marriage Supper of the Lamb has not taken place. See Revelation 19:9:
And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10:8-9
Thus, we do not have soul mates. God does not join our souls. Our souls are not joined by any act of sex or intimacy. We come into agreement and closeness with our husband or wife; that is, we share similar values and intimate relationships, but our souls are not joined because we think alike or have common goals and values. Our soul belongs to God, not to any person. Every person will be judged according to what he has directed his soul to become:
“Therefore I will judge you …every one according to his ways, saith the Lord GOD. Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin. Cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby ye have transgressed; and make you a new heart and a new spirit: for why will ye die …? For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord GOD: wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye.” Ezekiel 18:30-32 Behold, all souls are mine …”
