STANDARDS RESPOND TO … THE REWARDS OF A LOVE THAT, TO THE WORLD, DOES NOT MAKE SENSE

TESTIMONIES OF STANDARDS
WAITING FOR THEIR MATE’S RETURN

The greatest reward of my unconditional love towards Todd is the gift of forgiveness. In choosing to forgive, I have allowed the LORD to transform me, to forgive me and to heal me. As a result, the LORD is molding me and shaping me into the wife He wants me to be for Todd. Had I not chosen to forgive, the love I have for my husband would have died and would have been replaced with bitterness. Instead, my love for Todd is stronger today than the day I married him. This love “that to the world doesn’t make sense” is the love that Jesus died on the cross for–totally unconditional. The rewards of this kind of love have given me a sense of freedom that many, I feel, don’t experience when faced with this situation–the freedom to unconditionally love my spouse despite the circumstances.

Mrs. Ada (Todd) Napier, LA

After our first marriage breakdown when my husband said, “I’m never coming back,” I accepted his choice and began a ‘single’ lifestyle. But he did come back, after four months. When we had courted eight months, “I said to someone who wondered how I could take him back: “because he is my husband.” Even as a non-Christian, I held my marriage vows in high esteem.

During our second marriage breakdown, I was now a Christian and able to look to the LORD for an answer. I found this hadn’t changed from before; he is still my husband and my vows still stand – “till death us do part”! The difference this time is that I have understanding of the meaning of covenant and have God’s grace which empowers me to honour my vows. This time I don’t need a worldly ‘single’ lifestyle, despite my husband’s choice of being away for many years, as I now have God’s love in my heart. Also, I am able to love my husband unconditionally without expecting anything in return and pray for him for a change of heart. Once this happens, he can make a choice which lines up with God’s will for marriage and the family. When he does this, I believe he will return home to the wife of his youth and his two children. Praise the LORD!      

Mrs. Diana (David) Greenwood, England

“For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers … And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled.” (1 Peter 3:12-14)

The above verses say that we are happy, protected, safe, fearless and hopeful of our prayers being answered if we live righteously and according to God’s will. I can add more from personal experience. Since my husband left many years ago and I have submitted my life to Christ, I have been able to look forward with a hope and a promise for a future both with and without my husband by my side. The past reflects not my future. I am fulfilled through Christ, at peace, and can love my enemies, including my husband, without fear of rejection or recrimination. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear …” (I John 4:18)

Mrs. Dru (John) Doyle, IN

One of the ways of loving God and hating sin and showing love and forgiveness to my wayward wife is by holding my vow and covenant one-sidedly through much suffering and joy over many years! “But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” (I Peter 4:13)

God has called me to peace. “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace” (I Corinthians 7:15) and has provided a way for me to escape and bear this temptation. “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” (I Corinthians 10:13)!

Mr. Eric (Pam) Kuusela, FL

The rewards of a love that to the world doesn’t make sense:

1. Keeps one free from adultery:
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”  “And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.”  (Luke 16:18; Mark 10:11)

2. Gives a sense of stability and permanence to a relationship:
    “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.  So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”   “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”   (Romans 7:2,3; I Corinthians 7:39)

3. Provides blessings for obedience to God’s Word (our Creator):
“He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.” “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” ((John 14:21; Mark 10:9)

Mrs. Janet (Brent) Gabler, FL

As a Standard, I believe the Word. I live by the Word. God will not go back on His Word. God honors His Word above His own name. Divorce decree is only a piece of paper by man. God says marriage is a lifetime covenant. God will not break His covenant. I encourage every Standard to stand on the Word. As it says in Zechariah 4:6: It’s “… not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.”  

Mrs. Diane (Edward) Jasmine, LA

Through many years of a heart-breaking,  personal experience such as that recorded in Hosea, I have come to better understand God’s love for us and how He feels when the church and individuals reject and replace Him with man’s theology, whoredom and worldly lusts. I have seen God miraculously become my source for sustenance and learned how to have peace and joy in the midst of heart-wrenching circumstances many cannot comprehend. Having learned that faith is not in a denomination, rituals or ceremonies, but in the Holy Scriptures which never change, I understand a deeper meaning of and necessity for the urgent fulfillment of “I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in truth.” (III John 4) And, I’m growing in the knowledge of what it means to truly be a help meet – something my husband needs of me much more now than when we were physically living together.

Mrs. Judith (Doug) Brumbaugh, FL

Some of my rewards have been that both of my children see a love that the world doesn’t teach. It is a love that says no matter what, I love their mother, my wife, until death do us part. Our children have learned what one-flesh marriage is and that a document such as a divorce decree does not dissolve the one flesh marriage – that marriage to anyone other than the one-flesh mate is adultery – period.

Thank you for all your ministry, writings and hard work. I just read your Answers to Questions pamphlet regarding marriage and divorce. I wrote you years ago regarding the King James Bible and appreciate your consistent, outspoken stand on this subject, particularly, as well as marriage and divorce.

I have been divorced [in God’s eyes, separated] since 1975 and am settled, by God’s Word, on remaining as I am. I have three children and hope to have the seventh grandchild in the next two or three weeks. I believe your teachings are biblically sound. Many would call what you write “hard saying.” It seems you are among only a very few who seek to know what “thus said the LORD” on this subject.

Mrs. Patty (Gene) Whetsell, IA

Many are the blessings for my family and me. I will begin with contentment which comes through freedom because of living the Truth as stated in John 8:32 : “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Secondly, hope – hope in the living God that says in Matthew 19:26 “… With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” And lastly, my children not only sharing in this hope which is not deferred, but also in a stability. Stability in the storm of divorce that is only perfectly achieved by living the Truth which states be single or be reconciled; never living as a single parent – always living as though you are married, (because you are) even if your spouse chooses to abandon his or her commitment. “But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband; and let not the husband put away his wife.” (I Corinthians 7:11)

Mrs. Mitzi (Andy) LeBlanc, LA

The rewards of being a Standard 10+ years is that I have …
God’s peace,  “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1), His love, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you” (John 15:12),        contentment, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”(Hebrews 13:5),
forgiveness, “In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace”(Ephesians 1:7), and much more.
My every need is met, “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus”(Philippians 4:19). 

It has not been easy being a Standard when even your own Christian brothers and sisters think you are crazy. I want to please God. That’s the most important thing in my life.  I will stand till I meet my Maker.

Mrs. Nadja (George) Wendland Pressly, FL

It is my prayer to leave my children and grandchildren a legacy of love (charity) – a living epistle of I Corinthians 13. “Charity … Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (I Corinthians 13:7)

I want them to remember me as being a living epistle of God’s love. As my oldest son told me recently, “I do not understand, Mother, but I respect you,” and, “love is not love that alters when it alteration finds.”

Mrs. Nina (Stewart) Bennett, LA

I’ve come to believe that to love there is no better way than to be in the middle of God’s perfect will.  I’m so grateful for the opportunity of being a Standard for my mate and two daughters.  I’m always reminded of how it could very well have been me lost and in need of my family to be a Standard for me.  If I were in trouble and didn’t know it, would I want them to give up on me?

Glory to God – look what the LORD has done for us!  I can only look back over the last twenty years and know that Jesus is what matters and it has been worth every minute of it.  

Mrs. Mary Ellen (Joe) Ward, CO

For those who have been sinned against, we thank God for His miracle healing power.  Each mate truly committed to God exhibits unconditional love.  It’s the love that keeps no record of wrong, holds no grudges, forgives seventy times seven times; a love that believes in each other, trusts each other, is not selfish or rude, a love that is sacrificial, that lays down its life for each other.

Mrs. Shirley Blake, CANADA

“And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:21-24)

I am thankful to be chosen by God to be a Standard for my marriage to my husband Randy. The LORD brought us together through the death of my mother (of leukemia) as well as Randy’s first wife, as she also died of leukemia. I believe that the LORD works all things together for our good as we love and trust in Him and in His will for our lives.

Along with “standing on the promises of God,” (I keep written Scriptures in my shoes), I enjoy pouring “two” cups of coffee each morning as I walk by faith and not by sight because I believe I will be pouring coffee again for Randy and me. Even though the world doesn’t understand the things of the spirit, our God is awesome and His ways are higher than our ways. That’s why I can take Him at His Word as it is written. It is “… not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD…” (Zechariah 4:6)

I praise the LORD each day for His gift of faith and His faithfulness because He is a God of completion, and I am honored to stand for my marriage and family – that God will accomplish His perfect will in our lives.

Mrs. Sally (Randy) Davidson, LA

I made a covenant vow and promise not only to my husband but also to my LORD and Saviour. The Holy Word says that my covenant cannot be broken – only death can finalize our covenant. God also hates divorce. I want to spend eternity in Heaven with my LORD – so if I would date or marry another, I would be committing adultery. God’s Word says in I Corinthians 6:9,10: Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate … shall inherit the kingdom of God.” Another man cannot satisfy my flesh – only Christ can give that peace, joy and contentment.

People in my community respect my stand for my marriage. They cannot understand why celibacy can be followed after a mate has been gone over 17 years. The blessings are awesome – the LORD has blessed me with a mini-ministry, teaching Standards the rewards you will reap by being true to your covenant. Meeting Sister Brumbaugh was a tremendous encouragement. Through her teachings I have been used by the LORD to encourage Standards to pray and wait for their mates.

Mrs. Marie (Jack) Whitmer, PA

It’s very hard for me to write what is in my heart, but to me, the testimony of a Standard is that we believe God’s Word and will not deny the LORD. As it was with Peter, we really don’t know what we will do until we have to face a trial or are tested for the Word upon which we stand. We do not go through trials and testings to show how strong and powerful we are, but we make it by His strength, mercy and grace. We serve a faithful God who is all powerful and loving. As His Word says, “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” (Isaiah 41:13)

Mrs. Tina (Buz) Blanchard, LA

I could not even begin to list the countless rewards of loving unconditionally — God’s way. For love is a choice – not a feeling or an emotion. To choose to love, especially when your circumstances look impossible, when friends, family and most of the body of Messiah think you’re nuts and you’ve got it all wrong, is to choose life, not death and to live life to its fullest meaning in Messiah Yeshua. It is a rare gift from the Father, and an opportunity of a lifetime that I am so glad I did not miss out on to allow Abba to make my husband and me into the bridegroom and bride (wife) to Him:  “Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God” (Revelation 19:7-9) and to each other that we were always designed and created to be. 

This releases me to no longer walk in fear of man, truth, death, and abandonment. To love unconditionally, not only my husband, but all mankind, means to be truly FREE – free to be the person whom I was created to be in Messiah. His faithfulness and our faithfulness to Him means we are free, not confined or restricted as so many people misconstrue the meaning of faithfulness. The truth shall set you free. I believe the unconditional love of the Father is the greatest spiritual warfare weapon that He has given to each and every one of us. Some of us are active with this gift in all things and some of us are very passive, not believing that His love never fails.  

Mrs. Tracy (Peter) Hogan, AZ

“… having done all to stand … Stand therefore …” (Ephesians 6:13,14) “I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” (Psalm 34:1) The reconciliation between my husband and me appears to look similar to Lazarus before coming forth up from the grave having been dead four days. Hopelessness, apathy, fear, doubt, unbelief are all these emotions that have been felt by me, and, I believe, many others who are standing for their original covenant first-time marriage partners.

There is no power in our flesh to change our situations and when these situations appear to be at their worst remember, keep praising and then be ready for God to act. The children and I have desired with such longing for our family to be restored; and this week, after standing for 16 years, we were together as a family for the first time. Our children were one and one-half years and one and one-half months old when their dad left our home. I am so thankful to God for letting us be together as a family. Our children were thrilled for us all to be together. Our LORD is kind, and when he hears our cries, He answers us the way He wants to – on His timetable – not ours. Starting to stand for your marriage is not easy, but consider the people who are involved. Your spouse, children and relatives’ souls and these lives will touch others for life or death. What a powerful influence this is – our choosing to stand. Please pray for our family.

Mrs. Tammy (Mark) Carroll, FL

They have spoken words, swearing falsely in making a covenant: thus judgment springeth up as hemlock in the furrows of the field
Hosea 10:4

The Word as written by God through man, “Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you, Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God” (II Peter 1:20,21), is a “hard saying” which means it’s difficult for man to accept because of hearts hardened against it for some reason: “Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it?” (John 6:60) Specifically referring to the permanence of marriage (a one-flesh union created by God between those saved and those not saved), Jesus gave “a hard saying” to the Pharisees (religious leaders of His day). They KNEW that Jesus was telling them that once you enter into a one-flesh marriage (neither spouse having a living one-flesh mate), there’s no way to dissolve this other than physical death: “But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given … and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.” (Matthew 19:11-12)

(Marriage) STANDARDS are a group of people who FOR THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN (including their own salvation), remain celibate and faithful to their husband/wife even when their spouse blasphemously, under civil law (color of the law), strikes against God’s institution of marriage by a legal decree. Most, under civil law, enter into another marriage, which Jesus says is adultery: “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” (Luke 16:18)

The latter are joined in their adultery with those who perform such ceremonies and support these unbiblical actions, (partaking in adultery) including pastors, attorneys, judges, friends and relatives. Many do this in innocence; others: “Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” (Romans 1:32)

Whichever is the reason, God holds even the deceived accountable to repent: “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them [turn totally from what God says is sin] shall have mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)

For more information on covenant marriages, see Covenant Marriage Movement (CMM) Beware???